im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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