it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You ruined the universe
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