Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
