somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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