8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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