i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
