I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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