I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
