So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
