Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
