i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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