I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
