you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
