all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
