So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
