I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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