Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
