I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
