I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
