I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
