You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
