i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
