your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
