This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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