Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
