8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
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