they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
