yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
