how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
smell my finger.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
