So drunk its hurt
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
