Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
