I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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