Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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