Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
