Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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