Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
