Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
