i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
