I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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