Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I have post one night stand depression
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize