alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
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