Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
