I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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