She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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