New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
