after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
