Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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