I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
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