i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
