Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I have aggressive nipples.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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